Either Which Way But You Lose

A view from the North

A courtroom somewhere in England and Wales. HHJ A.P.A. Ratchik QC presides. The defendant, Bill Sykes, sits in the dock and has been identified. The defendant is represented by Miss Fi Owen. The prosecution are represented by Mr Bailey-Haq

Fi Owen: Your Honour, my learned friend, Mr Bailey-Haq represents the Prosecution and I represent the defendant. The matter comes into Your Honour’s list today for trial but I have an application that Count 1 be put again to the defendant.

(The Judge consents and the defendant is rearraigned on an allegation of theft of a quantity of razor blades.)

(The prosecutor rises to his feet.)

Bailey-Haq: Your Honour, my learned friend was kind enough to indicate that the defendant was prepared to enter a guilty plea to that count. Of course that leaves the second count, the allegation of affray. In short a security guard from the store alleged that…

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